People have been asking me for 2 years to pinpoint the differences between the East and West coasts. And I still can't do it. All I can say is that I've felt much like a fish-out-of-water for the entire time I've lived in Baltimore.
My first few days back last month, I felt culture shock like I never had before. This may have been due to the fact that I flew in to Portland, which is about as opposite of Baltimore as you can get. I've grown used to the absence of grass and trees in downtown Baltimore, so seeing so much
green was overwhelming at first. I found a compost bucket for sale in a
book store (Baltimore hasn't even completely figured out recycling yet). I saw more people with dreadlocks in 20 minutes than I had in 2 years in Baltimore. Best of all, I was able to walk 2 blocks without sweat dripping down my legs. How I have missed NW summer weather.
I still struggle, though, to make over-arching generalizations. Mostly, it just feels like a lot of little things that give each place their specific flavor. But, as I've processed and let things percolate some more, I think there are several themes that are starting to stand out.
The first came to me as I was driving home the other day after running a bunch of errands. I realized that I'd had a conversation with every single cashier and at least one person in every line I'd stood in. It wasn't much. Maybe it was a comment about the great price. Or maybe it was a comment about something in my basket - which led to a discovery of some random thing we have in common.
I think, overall, East Coasters are used to a faster-paced lifestyle. Things are more formal. Chit-chat in the grocery store line is not as common. And while I didn't have a heart-to-heart with anyone while I was running errands last week, our interactions were somehow more genuine and less-rushed. People have just a little bit more time here. They're a bit more laid-back.
The second has to do with coffee, naturally.
I have long bemoaned the lack of quality coffee in Baltimore. When my mom and I went to look for apartments a few months before my big move, we partook of a liquid that was supposedly coffee, but I'm pretty sure was actually motor oil. I knew it could be bad (I've had my fair share of church coffee during early morning rehearsals). But I didn't know it could be THAT bad.
No matter. I would make my own. It's cheaper, I can use my own mug (many of you know how extensive my mug collection is), and I would rather sit on my own couch to drink it.
However, there were still questions lurking in the back of my mind. I lived in a neighborhood full of young professionals and students. And yet, it wasn't until this spring that we finally had a coffee shop (other than Starbucks) that stayed open past 7 PM. I have spent the last 2 years asking: where do people study or go to hang out? WHAT DO PEOPLE DO????
And I've come to realize:
they don't.
Sure, there are some great bars in the area. And a handful of coffee shops (although most are small and don't have great hours and NONE of them have real couches). But the social culture stands in stark contrast to the one I was raised in.
And it's only in the last few weeks that I've come to the realization: for Northwesterners, it's really not about the coffee. Sure, we love our sugar and caffeine, and some of us have become rather snobbish about it (Just for the record: Starbucks is not even CLOSE to being as good as it can get.). But really, at it's core, it's about relationship.
When we use the phrase, "going to coffee," it really doesn't mean drinking coffee at all. It means sitting, relaxing, talking, drinking tea, eating scones, getting out of the house, studying, people-watching, getting away with not having to pay for heat or AC or internet at home, settling business deals, meeting for book club, interviewing for a job, meeting an online suitor for the first time. Coffee is really more of a verb than a noun.
Even when we go alone, we go to be with people. The student that cannot study in his dorm room any longer without going crazy. The elderly man who sits at the same table every morning to read the NY Times. The work-from-home crowd who consider the shop their extended office.
And sure, it's an expensive habit. Many wonder why you would spend $4 every morning when you could just brew your own at home. But once again, it comes down to people. You don't have your favorite barista to greet you every morning if you're in your own kitchen. We need the consistency of relationship as much as we need the caffeine.
And while it seems a bit anti-intuitive to say, especially in a world of drive-through windows and disposable cups and caffeine buzzes, I think coffee slows us down. Not always. But often. It provides an opportunity to look another person in the face, to have real conversation, to stop moving and sit in the
same place for 30 minutes (or longer, if you're drinking a
venti).
It seems funny to write these things about the Northwest, especially because I, myself, didn't truly know what "laid back" meant until I lived in Africa. I wasn't aware that the consumption of a beverage could, in fact, shut down an entire nation (just try and get anything done at tea time). Yes, we Westerners still have MUCH to learn about prioritizing relationships and having
time.
But whether it's due to the oxygen-infused mountain air, or the laid-back West Coast pace, or the smell of freshly-roasted coffee beans, I'm just thankful to be breathing a little bit slower and easier these days.
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